5 Things That Are Keeping You Feeling Stuck At Work, At Home, And In LIFE!
In my last blog, I discussed the fact that no matter how ‘stuck’ we feel, it’s an illusion we create for ourselves. Simply knowing this, however, will not ‘cure’ the feeling – here are five things that will!
Watch Your Language
Instead of using negative language that blocks you, think about how you can change it to being optimistic and open to receiving whatever it is you want in life. It could be about finding a solution to the problem, or simply acknowledging that you are not ‘stuck’.
“I’ll never have enough money to buy a house.” –> “I’m budgeting so that I will be able to buy a house.”
“I don’t have time to work on my side hustle.” –> “I can make time to work on my side hustle by sacrificing an hour of Netflix every evening.”
“My energy is too low to exercise frequently enough to release weight.” –> “It’s okay that I don’t currently have enough energy to exercise as often as I want, but I can release weight regardless.”
Perhaps on top of reframing your language, you might think about using affirmations. Of course, if they don’t work for you at this point in your journey, you don’t have to. The most important thing is that you do you.
“I have enough time for XYZ.”
“My money is accumulating to buy XYZ.”
“I am brimming with energy.”
“I have great abundance, and it grows day by day.”
As soon as you change the language, you stop blocking the energy of the thing you want. The more that we tell ourselves we cannot get something, the less likely we are to get it. Getting all that we want in life begins with a belief that we can get everything.
Reframe Your Perspective
Where are you currently at? What are the actual present circumstances that you are facing? It is worth journaling on these questions, as they will help you see the truth of where you are.
Part of why we feel stuck is that we tell ourselves false stories, we convince ourselves that we’re stuck when we have many options and opportunities.
As you journal on your current perspective, try to draw out the stories, and trace them back to their roots. Are the phrases you use regularly – “I don’t have enough time” for example – even your own stories? Where else in your life are those stories playing out?
I grew up in a household with two mainstay phrases: “I’m stressed,” and “I don’t have time”. Guess what happened! I took those stories on as my own, and constantly felt like time was not on my side. I believed that I didn’t have time for anything I wanted to achieve, and ‘stressed’ became a de facto ‘mode’ for me.
It wasn’t until I started to look at the stories I had, and question whether they had truth, and whether they were even my own, that I realised how far I was from truth.
The only way that we can change our perspective on anything is to look at how we currently see the situation. Once we can acknowledge this, it’s time to ‘try on’ different perspectives we could have of the same situation. I aim to come up with at least three other perspectives and journal on those. I ask myself why I’ve chosen the perspective that I have, and whether an alternative perspective might serve me better.
You get to choose your story. You get to choose the perspective you take. You get to choose the meaning that you give to your circumstances and what is happening in your life right now. And the fact that you get to choose implies there is a choice.
There are always multiple perspectives of how you view something. You don’t have to believe the first perspective that comes into your head.
Just Do It
The more we condition ourselves to believing we can’t do something, the further that thing gets from our comfort zone.
Often the best option is to simply do the thing you think you can’t, and reach outside of that comfort zone. In some cases, this might not be possible, and then it’s time to start taking the initial steps that you can. If you want to buy a house, for example, and don’t have the money at this point, your initial steps may be about saving money, or sticking to a budget.
I kept telling myself that I didn’t have time to batch write my social media content. I wasn’t able to find the time and energy to do it because I kept telling myself I couldn’t. Having worked through my perspectives and realising that I was living in a story, I jumped into what felt impossible.
I needed to prove to my brain that I am someone who spends half a day a week writing social media content. Sometimes it is a case of proving to yourself that the beliefs are wrong.
Change Your Focus
Where is your attention and commitment? Look at what you’re focusing on. Are you focusing on the fact that you’re not losing weight, that you’re not exercising enough, that you’re eating the wrong food? Or are you focusing on the fact that sometimes you make really great food choices, and you exercise a few times a week?
If you’re someone who’s saying, “I don’t have enough energy to be able to read my kids a bedtime story”, you’re focusing on your energy level. Wouldn’t it be better to focus on what could bring my kids joy?
The more we focus on either the positive outcomes of a behaviour, the end result, or on the positive steps we’re already taking, the more empowered we feel. If we empower ourselves by focussing on these things, we are more likely to be able to move past the feeling that we are ‘stuck’.
Sometimes we spend a lot of time thinking we want to do something, yet have a million excuses and feelings of being stuck. It’s then that we have to ask ourselves if the reason that we are putting up all these obstacles is because it’s something we don’t want to commit to. It is perfectly okay to make a decision to stop pursuing something, if you accept that it might simply not be the right path for you to take right now.
By doffing the commitments that don’t work for you, you’re making room for the things that will serve you. It’s actually more helpful than half committing to something, and feeling unhappy.
Envisage Your Goal
I keep reminding myself how my life will change when I have that thing I am striving for, what the knock-on effects will be. If we can remind ourselves of the end goal of whatever it is that we’re seeking, it becomes easier to see the steps towards it, instead of allowing ourselves to feel stuck.
It becomes easier to bring in the things I need en route to point B, once I am trying to live my life as though I already have what is at that end point. I can’t come up with a multi-millionaire bank account to buy that ideal home, but I can begin saving in the way as the person who already has my ideal home.
If I can visualise my life once I attain the goal, I will naturally feel less stuck. After all, if I can visualise myself there, how can I be stuck, when I’ve proven in visualisation it’s perfectly possible for me to reach what I want?
Those are five things I’ve been increasingly bringing into my life. They all sound simple, right? They are, but they’re not easy. They take commitment, and a belief that you are able to move forwards, no matter what your current circumstances.
It is time to get unstuck because stuck has never, ever existed. You’ve got this. I can’t wait to hear from you how you start becoming unstuck in areas of your life, realising all those dreams and ambitions.